One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
