I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
