If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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