I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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