just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
