And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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