shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
