i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
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