i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
