sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
