This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
