Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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