You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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