I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
