just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
