Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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