We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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