When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
