D3 body, D1 cock
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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