Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
