just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
