She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
