Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
