She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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