Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
