so explain again why im purple
no
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
