are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
