why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I think a kid would responsible me up
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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