Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
