If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
