Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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