she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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