lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
