Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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