check it out our google latitudes are spooning
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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