Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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