Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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