I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
