I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Let's get the cat blown out
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
