it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
