Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
