so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
