i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
