I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
