Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
