why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize