i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize