its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
