I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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