Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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