You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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