well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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