Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
