distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
