Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
