Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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