Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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