at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
