i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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