don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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