You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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