Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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