I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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