But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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