is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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