Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
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